I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”
I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments
Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”
My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.
I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.
please give us updates
Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”
And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying.
I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.
you: why is return of the jedi your favorite star wars??
me:
you: holy shit
It’s not my favorite SW film, but I love it a lot bc this is 100% the most extra Luke Skywalker has ever been, next to the time he astral-projected himself across the universe with a fresh dye job and Gucci loafers just to piss off his nephew. It took more than 35 years for Luke to top this moment and #respect
me, lying awake at night: john egbert hated himself. like, he really fucking detested himself. he fucking. wrote all kinds of awful insults on his walls in his sleep and his brain supressed them so bad he didnt even SEE them. he has like. a bajillion unresolved emotional issues but no one seems to talk about them, in canon and in the fandom. everyone is content to paint him as some silly jokester when he’s a) one of, if not THE MOST powerful character and b) horribly depressed. like, he barely left his house in that (admittedly non canonical(?)) snapchat epilogue thingy. he has a really deep and intruiguing character but everyone ignores it and idk why and it makes me.. smad
me, lying awake at night: john egbert hated himself. like, he really fucking detested himself. he fucking. wrote all kinds of awful insults on his walls in his sleep and his brain supressed them so bad he didnt even SEE them. he has like. a bajillion unresolved emotional issues but no one seems to talk about them, in canon and in the fandom. everyone is content to paint him as some silly jokester when he’s a) one of, if not THE MOST powerful character and b) horribly depressed. like, he barely left his house in that (admittedly non canonical(?)) snapchat epilogue thingy. he has a really deep and intruiguing character but everyone ignores it and idk why and it makes me.. smad
As an atheist, putting my hand on the Bible and saying an oath before testifying to a court is less likely to get me to tell the truth than a pinkey promise
When my parents were fighting for custody, I was old enough to have a say, so they put me under oath to assure I was being honest with my feelings. Using my best serious face, knowing what was coming, when offered the bible to swear on, I requested to swear on the secretary’s hole punch, “because it’s far more honest. It says it’s going to punch a hole, and it does, best God I’ve seen today.” My mom buried her face in her hands, my dad sighed and rubbed his forehead. The judge almost choked on his water before telling the bailiff “find this young lady a hole punch!”
San Jose councilman
Lan Diep sworn into office with his Captain America Shield
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