Tag: queue? let’s go home.

lolodapsycho:

this-isnt-my-bra:

Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma’am, you took my hearing aids.”

HOLY SHIT

momnar:

deliverusfromsburb:

youngvenuz:

deliverusfromsburb:

because-im-freaking-greed:

deliverusfromsburb:

The fact that no time travelers have appeared to stop Donald Trump yet suggests one of two things: either he doesn’t win the election or he does and the entire world ends.

Or Ted Cruz was the time traveller, and his participation in the race is part of a stable time loop which leads to Trump becoming President

Ted Cruz’s uncanny behavior and appearance are actually because he is an alien investigating the exact reasons why Earth became a charred cinder in galactic federation year 20967234. He dropped out when he realized the answer and is now making arrangements to be beamed away before it is too late.

unfortunately due to a mishap during the beaming process he is sent to 1960’s northern california and is driven mad and thus becomes the zodiac killer

which we all gave him the idea for in the first place

case closed everyone hit the showers

anonymous-understatement:

So a couple of weeks ago I was going through microfilm of the Charleston Courier from 1804 trying to find news of Hamilton’s death and I ended up going through about 2 months worth of papers. The highlights include:

  • Distressing! Hamilton was murdered in a duel by the Worst Man In The World™
  • There is land for sale on this island plz buy it 
  • G. Wash was the best and we miss him very much. 
  • Ok, we weren’t gonna talk about A. Ham cause we don’t like his political opinions, but he was so beautiful and we r v sad he is dead. 
  • Notice: Someone invented a cotton processor. Buy it. Now.  
  • We know you all want updates on Human Trash Aaron Burr but no one knows where he is. 
  • A. Ham was presh but don’t duel, people. 
  • Jacob literally put a poem on the front page of a newspaper to try to get Coy Nancy to go out with him. Get on Jacob’s level.
  • George Washington wouldn’t have let this happen. 
  • Here is an essay that breaks down a passage of Shakespeare, you plebs.
  • Aaron Burr Update: He was seen in Philadelphia and he has the flu. More at 11. 
  • George Washington was wonderful.
  • Its not our position to say, but Aaron Burr is the literal Worst™
  • Here’s a list of everyone who subscribed to our newspaper. Don’t forget to click subscribe and follow and we’ll mention you in our next video paper.
  • Bob went to AHam’s funeral an tried to remember the speech from it and his friends think this version is p close, so here. Cry with us. 
  • Hypothetically, if President Jefferson (bless his heart) were to die, the VP would become president. It’s a good thing our VP isn’t someone so morally depraved that they would murder a literal cinnamon roll. Oh wait.