spoock:

a note to all aspiring novelists…

sometimes you should just use “said”

justdutchthings:

A wonderful story about an old lady and her bucket list.

sugarbeta:

toonqueen:

goodluckdetective:

theseriouscynic:

vanillayote:

clinicallydepressedpug:

jinxasaurus:

rosalinarosee:

slashmarks:

angst420:

tantefledermaus:

fromonesurvivortoanother:

telegantmess:

angryflyingstar:

angst420:

job applications just keep getting weirder…..

pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly

also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.”

I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.

tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil.

this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals 

 When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.  

“Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes. 

     The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”

     The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?” 

“Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.  

     The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”

      The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?”

Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.  

^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly 😦

Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden.

And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied

Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things.

My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think.

Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz.

So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree”

Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks

It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out.

For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire”

It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.

I’m a retail manager and I can tell you never answer a middle option. Always do strongly agree or strongly disagree. Too many middle answers will fail you.

I once had a gal that was a member of mensa fail the test for Zales. @_@

Sound advice. I’d love to find out exactly how this particular bullshit screening device was developed. Some frankenstein mashup of half-baked MBTI profiling and self-fulfilling statistical modeling (since how can you test how well the screening actually works when you only get performance data from the people who passed the stupid thing). Whoever is responsible is a scam artist extrordinaire. People love magic programs that do their work for them and give them clear, easy answers– never mind if those answers are right or based on anything even approaching reality.

danisnotonfiretm:

gotta learn from the pro lmao