karkat vantas is one of those people who swims with 3 layers of clothes on and never leaves the shallow end no matter how many times everyone assures him its perfectly safe and no one cares jesus karkat that cant be comfortable come on
and jake english is one of those people that runs screaming in from the kitchen, bare feet slapping over the tile, and canonballs in completely naked while half the people present clap their hands over their faces and yell incoherently and the other half raise their eyebrows and think “hmm… nice”
jake gives karkat endless shit for being a water ninny and knows he is perfectly safe doing so because karkat will never cross the invisible boundary after about the 3ft line. all he can do is screech and splash, uselessly, like a magikarp
Hello this is the only content I want in my life
Does karkat have water wings I need to know please update me
someday i’ll be done talking about homestuck but not today so here’s my headcanon: once they get to earth c they discover one of the reasons echidna determined that karkat was so important is that it turns out hes some kind of fucking public administrative savant. he is just terrifyingly good at bureaucracy and nobody knows why. dave is pretty content to fuck off and let troll kingdom govern itself, terezi’s busy, jade just sort of checks in occasionally, but karkat vantas? he was BORN for this. like if leslie goddamn knope was a bisexual teenage boy who wrote profanity laden dissertations on the cinematography of bridget jones. jade has a cute idea for a public works project and karkat has all the paperwork filled out and submitted in triplicate with construction started in about three hours. as far as anyone can tell he mostly just sits at his desk and yells at everyone (nobody else even has a desk, or an office, but he insisted on getting one) but somehow shit just Gets Done and everyone is impressed and a little unnerved
like listen. usage of his leadership skills? jack noir parallels? it’s funny? karkat gets to be useful and fulfilled and accomplished at something for once in his life? it’s perfect. c’mon.
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