
218 jade: i always thought i knew so much, in retrospect i only ever had a glimpse of the big picture

218 jade: i always thought i knew so much, in retrospect i only ever had a glimpse of the big picture
what im learning from this homestuck reread is that john is ABSOLUTELY gay and him saying hes “not a homosexual” was derived from internalized homophobia
john: accidentally says gay things to or about dave right from the getgo
john: talks about marrying rose soley because karkat told him he had to, and obviously didnt reciproc8 vriskas feelings beyond friendship.
john: takes these early straight romantic hints as “a girl is talking to me which is how its supposed to happen” rather than any real definition of romance
john: reacts much more strongly when romantic hints were about another boy
john: angry and cagey about romance in A6I2 especially when davesprite was brought up
john: makes out with posters of nic cage, described at least jokingly as having a “man-crush” on other doofy male actors (bad taste but w/e)
not to mention coming out and accepting that youre gay could be really easily fit into the “freedom” symbolism of his god tier
john: is gay and obviously overcame internalized homophobia in an incredibly detailed character arc we never got to read
me, lying awake at night: john egbert hated himself. like, he really fucking detested himself. he fucking. wrote all kinds of awful insults on his walls in his sleep and his brain supressed them so bad he didnt even SEE them. he has like. a bajillion unresolved emotional issues but no one seems to talk about them, in canon and in the fandom. everyone is content to paint him as some silly jokester when he’s a) one of, if not THE MOST powerful character and b) horribly depressed. like, he barely left his house in that (admittedly non canonical(?)) snapchat epilogue thingy. he has a really deep and intruiguing character but everyone ignores it and idk why and it makes me.. smad
