Tag: IM GONRE

swamp-wizard:

swamp-wizard:

bad dirkjake fic gets 100% better if you pretend that it was written by dirk himself

“Don’t worry Strider,” Jake said, his soft and gentle voice a stark contrast to his huge rippling pectorals barely constrained by his thin t-shirt. “Don’t be depressed. Everyone likes you, and you are super great.”

“Wow, thanks,” Dirk said, humblely. It had never occurred to him that he had never done anything wrong, but it made him feel better to hear it from Jake, who loves him and would never lie to him.

“Any time. You’re very charismatic and good-looking and that’s why I love you,” Jake said, flexing. “Wow, all that emotional consolation made me super horny. My dick is huge.”