Let’s just take a look at how much Dirk cares for fashion and looks – especially considering he’s all alone in the middle of an ocean.
Dirk Strider and his Sweet Fashions – An Appreciation Post
Just picture that teen boy in his apartment, trying his best to look like a real cool bro and so concerned with how rad he looks.
When there’s literally no chance of anyone coming over or walking in on him.
Ever.
Yet he’s not only wearing his anime shades all day, he apparently carefully styles his hair every single morning (and is genuinely worried about his hairdo getting ruined).
What’s more, he really loves checking out his totally rad outfits!
And musing on how they make him look and what they say about him
– he even chooses outfits fitting for the mood and occasion.
(while still being the only human in 2000 miles radius)
PS: Dirk neatly hanging up his clothes while showering makes so much more sense now.
—
He’d so love to be the coolest kid in the scene and the chillest dude at the party. He’s got it all worked out.
God I can’t take this boy, it’s all too adorable, silly and actually really horribly sad.
dork strider
this is an incredible post and i love you pointing out all of dirks little idiosyncrasies but to be fair i must redirect you back to this post because as much as i love dirk he also has like some of the worst shit
i know the alpha kids didnt have much grist to alchemize stuff with but this is just an inexcusable absolute disaster
dirk, sweetie….no… youre better than this. nothing fucking matches there no goddamn color harmony here. this is an abomination against god like this is what living in the future with no human civilization to set some standards does to you
and where are the fucking oxygen tubes on the masks. and did he alchemize that gas mask with his hoverboard…..bro its probably filtering that narcotic krypton into carbon monoxide exhaust or some shit. at least alchemize a pipe along with it you beautiful goddamn fool
yo btw if you were wondering how the alt right is doing, the current conspiracy theory they’re rallying around is that soy sauce is why trans women exist
adding clarification to this since i did it in separate posts earlier
i think what basically happened is that some dude was looking at what goes into soy and noticed it contains estrogen and subsequently came to the conclusion that soy and soy based products are Feminizing Men and its taken off with the infowars crowd. anyway the new hot alt right insult is soy boy, so get ready to be called that some time in the near future
FUN UPDATE: dudes on /pol/ have discovered that onions contain testosterone and have started eating onions in bulk in an effort to become More Manly
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