no more ‘vampires who correct history books’
more vampires who don’t remember
more vampires saying ‘i don’t fucking know man, google it’
more vampires not remembering important historical figures
more vampires not recalling centuries worth of history
more vampires saying ‘ that was at least 300 years ago, how the FUCK could i remember that detail?’
more vampires whose brains work like human brainsMore vampires who 300 years later can’t remember what was the truth and what was the lie they told to get out of trouble.
More vampires who are like, “I don’t know, man, I spent most of that decade in an opium den.”
More vampires who weren’t paying attention because they didn’t think it would be important.
More vampires who don’t know because there was lot of conflicting gossip and they don’t want to point any fingers.
More vampires who are just bad at dates. “Back in 1620, or was it 1645, wait, what year is it now?”
More vampires who were on a totally different continent when it happened, so get off their back and stop asking them questions already.
YES to all of this but also consider: vampires who only remember the most trivial stuff.
“Oh yeah, the only thing I remember about the American Revolution was this nice candlemaker I met sometime, and she was wearing this really cute red shawl…”
“Uhhh I don’t remember much about the fall of Rome but there was this one fucking cobblestone right outside the coliseum…”
Also consider: vampires who realize three or four hundred years after the fact that they knew someone famous.
Just sits up in bed one night screaming “THAT WAS GEORGE GODDAMN WASHINGTON”
When you see a spider by your foot:
GUYS. THERE WAS DRIVE-THROUGH IN ANCIENT ROME. FINDING OUT THIS ALONE IS WORTH THE COST OF MY MASTERS IN HISTORY.
[From Daily Life of the Ancient Romans by David Matz]
*rolls up to the window* yeah gimme a number V combo
“I’ll have two number IXs, a number IX large, a number VI with extra ambrosia, a number VIII, two number XLVs, one with cheese, and a large goblet of wine.”
hail, I am Gaius Furius, welcome to Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives
“YEAH CAN I GET A FVCKIN VVVVHHH….VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVHHHHHHHHH…BVRGER?”
Hi guys, I’m Sollay! Still here!
If you don’t recognize me, this is some of my most reblogged art.
I accidentally deleted my main blog earlier (which happened to be my art blog) and I’m a pretty upset about that, because since I have a very bad memory I’m having a hard time getting back to all the people I followed… and well because I deleted everything, including sideblogs and likes lol. I really want to get back to everybody and build back my blog and keep posting art, and maybe reposting some of my old stuff? And I really to let everyone know I’m still here in this URL if they were following me n_n; if you’d please spread this it would probably help me find some people back either following me or that I followed! Thanks!
I’m putting this in the HS tag because of the art and for promo reasons, too.
hey do you guys want to know what we watched in english class today? what our fucking teacher projected on the screen for the whole class to watch? do you know?
okay people keep asking for context for this but honestly there isn’t any you guys…. my teacher just said “look at this funny video everyone” and now here we are
LET! THEM! IN! THE! BASKET!!!!!
This poor woman is just trying to clean the leaves. #allpandas.
if you’re having a rough night, watch this. trust me.
They’re almost as bad as cats
They’re like badass kids😍😂😂
I want to know what she is saying
Here’s a rough translation in chronological order (I swear this sounds ALOT funnier in Sichuanese):
*exclaims in Chinese*
“Hey you guys, play w/ the broom! *tosses broom over the gate* Hurry, hurry.”
“You cutie, my son! You like playing w/ the broom? Don’t play with it anymore (means give it back)”
“Hey don’t break it.” *puts broom back together*
*grabs panda* “Get outta here.”
“Don’t try me.”
“Hey don’t bite me!”
*chases after another panda* “*sighs* I’m exhausted.”
“Hey give that back!”
“Hey these are TREE LEAVES!”
“Here they come again” *carries basket away*
“Why don’t you two just play (instead of bothering me)??”
*holding two pandas* “You two tire me out”
*pats pandas on the tush* “Alright get outta here”
*panda crawls into basket after a little face off with the keeper* “Y’know at this point might as well throw you in the trash”
*grabs dustpan pandas were playing with* “Hey guys come here and play instead. Come here!” (and only two pandas listened)
(Panda chases her around) *exits* “I’ve been stopped.”
tumblr archive 