zsnes:

aru:

if i ever see any of you in public, the code is “i like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

this post is old enough to be enrolled in kindergarden. hope you love it in the school babey learn to read i love ypu

rnoonpie:

team-lionheart7:

momnar:

roachpatrol:

one of the nice things about heterosexuals i never see talked about on here is that they haven’t already heard all your gay jokes yet. i just really appreciate having a new audience sometimes for my completely automatic responses to phrases like ‘i’ll be straight with you’. so, shoutout to all the innocent hets out there who have a genuine giggle over lame quips that a fellow queer would groan and hit me for. ilu guys. 

I recently no scoped my coworker when she asked me “What’s in the closet, anyway?” and I automatically said “me”. She lost her mind. Full cackling in the middle of the store. I never thought I’d see the day that joke would work but here I was, blessed with an unexperienced heterosexual. It was transcendent. 

I once had a girl working on a display where I work, and she commented, “I thought this would be straighter when I got done with it.” And I said, “my mother thought the same thing about me”, and everyone around us lost it. It was a blessed moment.

My family was having a conversation about our hair textures, and my uncle said something about how straight my hair was. I just popped off with “Yeah, but the rest of me sure isn’t” and there was a beat, but they all got it a second later. Lots of laughs and groans.

rockbreakercult:

I feel like this is a thing that isn’t said often enough, but if you see an artist underpricing their work, instead of lecturing them on pricing, buy some art from them and insist upon paying what you think it’s worth. It is far more encouraging as an artist to have someone say ‘your art is worth more and here is the money for it’ than to hear ‘your art is worth more and you’re hurting every other artist here and no I’m not going to actually buy art from you, raise your prices anyways’

4rcades:

so i make an account on some garbage website. i dont wanna name an actual website so lets just make one up, lets call it tumblr dot com. and i open up the website, and i say “can i check my activity now please?” and they go “NO. IT CRASHES THE APP IF YOU TRY.” (spits) and i go “O-KAAAAY” and then i go to the bathroom. and i go “ANY UPDATES?” and they say “YEAH. WE DELETED YOUR BLOG WHILE YOU WERE IN THE BATHROOM. BECAUSE WE HATE YOU. NOW TAKE THIS VIDEO STREAMING SERVICE THAT NO ONE USES. GO, FETCH!” and i go OOOOOKAAAAAAAY and then i go to email tumblr support which is an oxymoron and i say “can i please make posts on the website” and they go “NO! IN FACT WERE GONNA FRAME YOU FOR MURDER! AND YOURE GONNA GO TO JAIL FOR THIRTY YEARS!” and i go “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!” and they say “BECAUSE WERE TUMBLR DOT COM AND LIFE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!”